Do you get discouraged when people doubt you, or do you get fired up and motivated to prove them wrong? Our guest, Kathi Reuter, had a very successful career as a fitness coach when she decided to do a 180 and chase her desire to become a mindset trainer for entrepreneurs. Despite her nay-sayers, Kathi made it work. No matter your goals, Kathi will explain how you can accomplish yours, too!
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You can see more about Kathi here: https://kathireuter.com
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Website: https://www.sincerelyfutureyou.com
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*This Transcript is Autogenerated*
Kathi Reuter 0:01
I had had all this experience over the last like nine years of being a Beachbody coach of watching people come into the business and having such big visions and big goals, and working hard and doing all the things but they were never getting any closer to those goals. And while I was working with them, I realized that it was their mind. It was their mindset, and they had limiting beliefs. And some of them weren't even aware of what they were but if you don't fix this piece first up here, all the training and all the mentors aren't going to help you.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 0:33
Welcome to sincerely future you a podcast that helps ambitious women like you make decisions today with the future you in mind.
Are you an athlete or a gym fanatic, or even just raised in a competitive household or around sports maybe I love making analogies on this show about how the day to day of pursuing our business goals is similar to the mindset that we have when we have a long term fitness goal. Today, you're going to meet our guest, my friend, business coach and former fitness coach just like yours truly, Kathy Reuter, we're going to chat about how to use the mindset tools that you may have actually already mastered in another area of your life, to just flip them over to get your business goals done. You're ready. But before we jump in, of course, we've got a shout out of the week from an actual human being an actual women business owner that's in one of my rooms, that is Liddy's from Nora V apparel. Ladies came into the rewire your time bootcamp that we had last month and she crushed it and then she's joined us in the splash pad. For those of you who don't know, the splash pad is my community for women business owners who really just feel like they are talented and what they do, but they need just a business one on one overall to make sure that they can get their business moving in the right direction without feeling completely out like a fish out of water. This is where we splash around in the splashpad. She's applying the tools but in a modified way and still making progress come to find out she is in her fourth trimester you guys, the one where your hormones are raging and your itty bitty little is so snug, legible and distracting, but also quite literally sucking the life out of you. You know I'm talking about. Alright women just incredible. Seriously, there is actually nothing that we cannot do. And this isn't just a shout out to Lydia's because she's choosing to work modified during her maternity leave, of course, we shout out women for creating their maternity leave and being fully on it. In fact, we can shout out former masterful CEO Neela who is about to just do that exact thing. But I can't relate to both of these. And as we each have our own perfect journey with different goals and different support systems behind the scenes. I think it's really important for us to celebrate both both versions of what it can look like to be successful. And I want to celebrate both so that you can see yourself in one of these examples and understand that there's no right way to have a successful business for you, you have to determine first what success looks like. And I needed to shout out le DS because she is looking at her goals and Her Circumstances putting blinders on to how others are doing it. And using the tools that she gained from the splash pad and rewire to get it done. Rock on rock star I'm so proud of you. And perfect segue into our hype sesh if you're brand new to the episode, get ready because this is the part where we pour gasoline on your brain. We just say let's break and go and then when you're done with this, you can actually hit pause if you want on after the hype sesh and just type out some content or you know get something done that maybe you've been putting off. That is how you should feel after the hype sesh just elevated and ready to take action. Okay. I wish we were legally allowed to play the theme song to Rocky under this narration but just imagine Okay, didn't didn't it didn't it didn't didn't, didn't didn't didn't it didn't it didn't. Okay chatting with Liddy's and another former client of mine, Sarah. It just pumps me up. It's reminding me of the times when my reality wasn't what I wanted it to be. Because truthfully, I'm pretty blissed out right now. You guys I'm not gonna lie. I'm always evolving, but I've gotten to a place where I don't need anything else. And that can be pretty unfreaking relatable, and I know it right but it wasn't always the case. And if you're brand new to the show, I need you to know that I see you if you're currently in a phase where you're looking at your life, you're looking at your bank account, looking at your calendar, looking at the people who are surrounding you, and you're like, the Senate. This is not it. I see you. Okay, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna get some examples of possibility in your face, you're going to decide on future you what she got what's different, now in some vague way, but specifically, does she have a tidier desk? Does she have more toned arms? Does she make decisions? Within minutes instead of months? Does she love who she's seeing in the mirror? Why, what about her, and then you're going to surround yourself with people who are living that reality. Okay, because they're out there. But sometimes, there's a really specific part of your future that you want that you just can't find an example of. And this is the fun part, because you get to be her for you. I was 2023 me, for me back in 2019. And now I am the literal woman that I leaned on for support. Isn't that wild? You get to be that for you. I remember, in 2019, waking up, like not from an alarm clock, but from the alarm clock of the crying of my child who never slept, and being like, oh my god, I had set my alarm for 545 to wake up before him and work out. But it's like, no matter how early I would set the alarm, he would end up waking up knowing and just waking up five minutes earlier, anyone else. If you're in that phase, I would just wake up and I would be like, from like the morning until the night I was just I felt like such a victim I my natural thoughts. Were just like, this is hard. This is hard. Nobody gets this, everybody else has an easier or has more support, or has more money than me or more time than me. And it just felt freaking hard. And I wanted so desperately to create an incredible co parenting relationship, right? It was not going the way I wanted to at the moment, right? I was like, we're gonna be friends. My ex husband was like, no, stop saying that I don't want to be friends with you. I was like, I'm gonna be like, rich and my bank account was like, you're not rich. And it's like, there was like, all of these things about my reality that just were mismatched from what I wanted it to be. And I was like, Oh, someone gives me the bridge. How do I get there? And I just knew, for me, everyone kept saying, Alright, listen, if you want to be rich, if you want to have a successful business, that's fine. But you need to first do the responsible thing. That's what I kept hearing, you need to do the responsible thing, you need to get a more stable job, you need to stop like playing around in this fun, passion project of life coaching, you need to stop, like just saying that everything's gonna be sunshine and rainbows. Like some things, every relationship doesn't need to be close. And I was like, I don't want to accept. And here's your permission, you guys, you get to hear the input and like truly hear it, take it in from love. We don't need to defend necessarily ourselves to the people that are probably just well meaning. And then we get to be like, I don't accept, I'm giving you permission to not accept the reality that society is telling you is your destiny. If you're surrounded by people who are like, Well, no, if you want to be successful in business, you need to hustle. And you need to give up your time and your nights and your weekends. Blah, blah, blah. I would never accept that. You do not need to have money at the expense of your time. You do not need to have time with your kids at the expense of a successful business. No, I do not accept Okay, repeat after me. Whatever it is that you don't want. Don't accept it. Okay. Now we're going to decide our possibility. You're going to surround yourself with some examples of people living that life and if you do not see it, you're going to be her write her down, write up every detail of what she has. And then let's reverse engineer it. If you specifically want to know how to reverse engineer these types of goals you need to get in the room. We have a live event coming up January 7 2023. If you're in none of my programs, don't worry, this is your chance. This is your access. And right now if you're listening to this episode live up until Black Friday which is what November 24 November 24. Until midnight, there is an early bird pricing on this you can for 399 Get And the room where we're going to set your goals for 2024 and show you how you're going to reverse engineer those. This is not a joke people, I do not joke around with your dreams. I'm very serious about your dreams, anything that you want come to me, we'll put it on paper, and we'll figure out the math of it. Okay, that was a long hype sesh. But I'm telling you, I'm so sick of people telling me what is possible for me, based on what's already out there. That's really boring, because that just means that everything that's ever been done is as far as we're gonna go. What does that mean about humanity? No, we're always evolving. And the people who are evolving us are the people that do not accept the current reality as what's possible for the future. Okay, be the person that's going to lead from the front lead for the pack, decide what's possible, and then do something about it. Okay, let's go.
You guys are in for such a treat. Because today we have Kathy Reuter, who is a new friend, longtime acquaintance. We'll get into that today. But thank you so much for coming on the show.
Kathi Reuter 11:08
Thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here, Jess. Yeah.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 11:11
So Kathy, if you guys heard a little bit about it, in the bio, she is a woman of a lot of skills. But we met back in the days when we were both fitness coaching. And we're going to talk to you a bit about that today. Because we both have some controversial opinions about how correlated your relationship to fitness can be to your relationship with your business. And I've thought about this for a while. But recently, when I reconnected with Kathie, at a live event, we just started having some more conversations and realize that both of us had taken more of a trajectory in our business, and really still have a lot of those same habits that we've built in the fitness space. So Kelly, tell us a little bit about, you know, who you are, how you came to be in your current role of what you're doing. And then we'll dive into the fitness stuff.
Kathi Reuter 12:14
Okay, so I'm a mom of three, I have three little kids ages 11, nine, and four. And I had been doing the Beachbody coaching that was my business as a way to be home with the kids. And I had been doing that for years and years and years, I did not want to go back to my teaching career. So I became a beachbody coach. And it did amazing, amazing things for our family way above and beyond what I could have ever imagined. But then I hit this point in the business about three years ago now three or four years ago, where it just didn't feel aligned anymore. And I felt this calling to do something else. But I kept ignoring it. Because this was what was comfortable. You know, this was what I knew. And it was easy for me and everybody for like the last nine years knew me for health and fitness. That's just what I did. And I did it really well.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 13:08
Were you like the part being a Beachbody coach was like you were naturally already into fitness or you found that on your own journey towards fitness and then ended up becoming a coach because I always think like there's two stories usually. Yeah. Well,
Kathi Reuter 13:24
I have always been into health and fitness. Although I was not in great shape when somebody told me about Beachbody coaching. But I had done the original p90x program with my husband. I mean, like, probably 14 years ago now. Yeah. And it got us into the best shape of our life then. And so when somebody said hey, like you can actually build a business around this and you know get healthy from home while you raise your kids. I was like, Sign me up. I'm doing it. Yeah, so yeah, I've always been into health and fitness although when I started that I was like 40 pounds overweight.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 13:55
I think it'll be relevant as we start to talk about some of our other other thoughts about it about like, which kind of came first the business or the egg right like the business or the fitness like Which part was easier for you and helps you build momentum in the other so you would say for sure, your Knack was like in health and fitness sports like that was your thing? Yes,
Kathi Reuter 14:18
I like I grew up doing sports. I grew up playing basketball I since I was in the third grade, I did track and field and all the things. But what really motivated me to build a legitimate business out of that was I didn't want to go back to my teaching career. Like I wanted to be home and so it was like a bonus that it was also revolved around health and fitness and being a part of a team and a community because I always loved that anyways. Yeah,
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 14:43
so I love it right? Because you're you're attaching it to this very specific vision of your future and your like, for some people. It's a vision of like, what I know I want but I think for most of us, and we don't hear this enough. It's really just me or like I know of couple of things that I definitely don't want. That was my college experience. It was like I didn't find at the end of graduating, I went to Northeastern, which has a Co Op program. So every other semester, I was essentially testing out jobs in my field to see whether my major was aligned. And at the end of the five years, I just graduated knowing well, I don't want to do that, that or that. And that felt like I sped through that process that sometimes takes other people maybe 10 years to get through in their career, but it wasn't like I, I knew for sure what I wanted to be. And so you knew you didn't want to be teaching anymore, and you were fit. And you were like, cool, check, check, check, I can make some money, I could be at home with the kids. And I get to be fit for a job.
Kathi Reuter 15:51
How fun. Now, that was exactly it. So
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 15:53
then fast forward, you're like three years ago, so around the pandemic time? Yep. Right around the time you're like, Okay, what I was like,
Kathi Reuter 16:03
okay, like, this just doesn't feel right anymore. And I kept having this feeling to just go off and create my own course to help other online entrepreneurs with their mindset. And I had had all this experience over the last like nine years of being a Beachbody coach of watching people come into the business, and having such big visions and big goals, and working hard and doing all the things but they were never getting any closer to those goals. And while I was working with them, I realized that it was their mind, it was their mindset, and they had limiting beliefs. And some of them weren't even aware of what they were. But if you don't fix this piece, first up here, all the training and all the mentors aren't going to help you. You need to start with this first. And then all the trainings and all the mentorships and mentors will be able to help you then they'll work. And so I had had this like, feeling for it was like two years. Yeah, he just going back and forth between oh my gosh, but you're making such great money. And everybody knows you for this. And this is so easy for you. And your whole brand is around health and fitness. And now you're going to do this whole thing and you're going to be a beginner, again, you're going to start out to be a beginner again, Matt, so it was a little bit nerve wracking, right. But I knew just through all the personal development from all the years, right that if you have that feeling, and you feel a little bit uncomfortable about the change, you absolutely have to do it. Oh, yeah. And so Oh, yeah, like it was it's just so easy to stay comfortable. We know this?
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 17:33
Well, it's, it's almost like this, this, an idea, if it's not capitalize on can turn into a poison, right? It's kind of like they say water, if water is still it becomes like toxic water. And if water is moving, and current, then it's like the life source. Right? So it's the same thing with your ideas. You're like, once I have this, knowing once I have this idea, once it's there, if I just let it sit, it's gonna poison everything around me,
Kathi Reuter 18:03
definitely. Oh my gosh, like the internal emotional turmoil that I did for that two year period where I was like, you know, people are coming to me and asking me for this kind of help all the time. I know that this is what's missing in the online entrepreneurial space, I have to just do this. And then finally after like two full years of pushing it down, pushing it down, I just drew the line in the sand. And I said, Alright, I'm going to launch a podcast. I'm gonna launch to life big and I'm going to create my mindset accelerator program. And, and I just did it. Yeah, and so much better when you just go for it.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 18:36
So let's talk about how that is the same exact friggin thing that we talked about with people wanting to have sec, sex have success, success. Well, that's not
Kathi Reuter 18:50
we're gonna have a blooper bloopers reel.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 18:52
I'll just leave it in and just remind people, you gotta collect some fails, right? So know, if you want to have success with with either weight loss or with reaching a new goal in your fitness, whether it's wanting to be able to have a raise your endurance and be able to do you know, do a half marathon or a marathon or something like that, or you want to be able to do pull ups. And you've never done that before. That's always been kind of a sneaky goal of mine. And, like, how is it that people approach it wanting to understand like, Okay, give me the steps tell me the things hand me the program. And the thing that they don't want to do that will determine whether they're successful or not, is the same thing that will lead you to business success or not? Yeah,
Kathi Reuter 19:44
it's so true. I know. I always that's actually what I would always say back in the day when I was doing the Beachbody coaching. I'm like, Listen, if you can work on your health and fitness journey, and you can reach your health and fitness goals or accomplish anything like that or run, you know, a marathon do a triathlon, then you can build a business because it is the exact same thing. It's just one foot in front of the other doing the right thing, day by day. Yeah. So
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 20:09
what are like the vital behaviors and things that you that you think about? Like, I think it's easier and it's cleaner. When we're talking about fitness, like in business, I'm always using fitness as an analogy, because I do attract a lot of business owners who are interested or are very, like, go getters with their fitness. And then I also have a lot of people who are just like, Oh, that's interesting. I have this, these clean thoughts about putting one foot in front of the other with my business. Now, can I just literally apply it to another area of my life? And so what are the things that like the the mindset things that come up in both?
Kathi Reuter 20:57
Yeah, and I think to like when you're mentioning this, too, I think that where people kind of get tripped up a little bit, is that they're scared to be a beginner, you know, like, they're scared for people to see them at the beginning of the journey, not really knowing what they're doing. But that's when you need to remind yourself remember that everybody was a beginner. And everything that you've mastered today was once new for you. It was something that you had no idea about, but you did it and then you mastered it. Oh my gosh. And so, yeah, so
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 21:25
true, right? Because Kathy and I reconnected at a live event in Denver, that one that I was speaking at, Kathy also knows Keisha, who, who ran empower her live. And when we were there listening to Natalie Ellis, she said, Right, no, it's not that people are afraid to be seen people are afraid to be seen starting small. That's
Kathi Reuter 21:49
exactly it. Yeah, it's so true. And, and even myself, and the, you know, this was someone who's mastered mindset, you still struggle with this. That was what I kept getting tripped up on with making the shift from the health and fitness, you know, business to mindset with a business wrapped around that was, oh, my gosh, I'm going to be starting at the bottom of the hill, again, as a beginner, clawing my way up learning every single step along the way, having to fail, fail, fail, fail, fail forward. And am I okay, with doing that after now, I had been seen as this really successful online health and fitness, you know, entrepreneur for so long. And I think that's where I was getting tripped up. And it happens to so many people. Yeah,
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 22:33
I mean, so it's a good reminder, whether you're listening to this episode, and you're thinking, Okay, I'm someone who is totally in it for the long haul when it comes to my fitness. But there's that little voice in the back of my head when it comes to my business. That's kind of like, is this going to work out? Is this not is this? Should I quit? Should I try something different? Imagine saying that to yourself, when it came to your body, and your health, like imagine being in the middle of a workout or a run or something? And just like having one of those days where you're just like dragging and you're like, this sucks or this is hard or maybe you took a week off or you drank too much the night before or whatever it is and you're just like, and you were like, I don't know, maybe this is it for me and fitness maybe I'll just say it on the couch for the rest of
Kathi Reuter 23:30
time or any Twinkies and do nothing forever.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 23:33
Like I'll just try something else we'll just try like putting lotion on everyday like something else with your body right like what it makes no sense we would never do that with with our right but with our business we we kind of give ourselves these other dialogues that are undermine ourself when the circumstances are harsh or when the conditions are rough or when we're doing something tedious or when we're hearing no or whatever it is in the business. So true. So true. That part one that you said of like people are afraid to experience feeling like a beginner. In both fitness and business. This can be true and if you open yourself up to and you're willing to look like an idiot that's how I think of it beginner is a gentleman word right? Like when I was first starting my fitness journey I remember like being like okay, cool. I'm gonna do this and then like, throwing up during my first 21 Day Fix Extreme plyo workout I threw up and I was like, success. Like, this is so embarrassing, right? And I like it told me it was gonna do it. And I was just like, Okay, well, that's over that happened, like, can't get any worse. Like, let's go let's keep doing it and The same thing with the business to in the beginning. You're putting up videos, nobody's watching. You're saying things. Your mom likes it. That's it. Right? And yeah, that's
Kathi Reuter 25:11
it. Yeah. And so the and you know, I Oh, sorry, go ahead. Oh, go ahead. I was gonna say I think that people are, they're afraid to fail in front of other people like so they will do whatever they can to avoid failures. And I know that was something that I got tripped up on to way back in the day, about six years ago, I didn't realize that the failures because since I was a new entrepreneur, I had no idea what I was doing, we went to school for teaching. But I had no idea that the failures were far more important than the wins and the successes. And then if I wanted to grow and build my business, to the level that I wanted it to grow to, I had to go through those failures and learn from them in order to keep growing. And so if you're constantly living just your life and business, whatever it is, trying to avoid failure, you're going to always constantly be feeling like you're taking like, you know, two steps forward, three steps back.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 26:02
And I think even for the most advanced entrepreneur, we can think like, no, okay, I'm okay with failure. But if you just do a quick audit right now, about your actions, even just this past week, was there any area in which there's something mass some massive action you could take that you didn't take? Because of an a slight avoidance of failure? For sure, for sure. Right. So
Kathi Reuter 26:32
it'll be 100%. If we weren't doing Oh, yeah. Right. It is so true, though.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 26:37
And so what are the other things like when you think about fitness, and when you're thinking about business, what are the other like mental, I guess, like facets that you need to have in place in order to have longevity?
Kathi Reuter 26:54
Yeah, I think also, too, this is especially important for myself, is making sure that I am surrounded by the right kinds of people. This is something that I ever since moving to Florida six years ago, it's funny how just my circle of friends have changed. You know, in Massachusetts, when I was living there, I was the most successful one of all of my friends. And now I'm here, and I'm just like, the small little minnow in the sea, surrounded by all these other entrepreneurs that are like, I mean, unbelievable, blown it out of the water. But I think it's so important that you get yourself around those kinds of people in whatever field that you're in, or sport you're in, because it will only help pull you, you know, you're never, you're never gonna be able to grow further than whatever that cap is that group of people that you're hanging out with. But if you surround yourself with other people who are far more successful than you, you're only going to keep growing better and better as the days and the years go on. Oh
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 27:52
my gosh, I don't do we talked about this, but like neither of us are actively like doing fitness coaching anymore. But I will say that it was so much easier for me to skip a workout. Now when I'm not in a challenge group than it was when I knew that there were a certain number of people that were going to see if I didn't show up, or like my soul trim or anything, right. And so now the difference is right. Like, I don't always have to be in a in a challenge group because I have built a couple of things in my mind that like are the foundation that allow me to Yes, maybe miss a workout here or there. But to never really get it let it get that far. So what would you say those things are that you can lean on leader in your business and in your, you know, fitness? I don't know what the word is, but like journey, I guess. Yeah, I hate that word.
Kathi Reuter 28:53
I think that one when you have it be a part of like a daily habit. If it's something that you do every single day for so long you develop that discipline and it's all boils down to building new habits for yourself. You know, which is why even when you were saying with your workouts now after all these years of being a part of an accountability group and having a support from you know, your challenge group, you're not going to ever let yourself just never work out right. It's the same thing with myself too with my workouts or even like working the business now right? It's been so long it's just ingrained in who I am from just doing a little bit every single day that it's like brushing your teeth every day. You're not gonna miss a day
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 29:30
isn't it so interesting? Because honestly like right my son is still fights man brushing his teeth, like he would just never brush his teeth.
Kathi Reuter 29:38
Oh my gosh mind do too. And you're like,
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 29:40
actually is it? Is it and I think that this is interesting, like, is it only habit? Or is it also partnered with an attachment to a deep belief that brushing my teeth regularly is a part of Have something bigger, long term that is non negotiable. Really important to me? Yeah, I
Kathi Reuter 30:06
definitely think it's both of those 100%. Right? Because,
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 30:08
Oh, I definitely think so. Because, like, yes, brushing teeth is a habit for me. But like, there are plenty of times, right? That I'm just not in the mood. And it's not just that it's like, I'm not thinking about it anymore. It's actually that I'm like, ooh, like, obviously, short term things of like, I want my breaths to smell good. But like, but like, also, right? Like, I want teeth when?
Kathi Reuter 30:35
Exactly, we don't want to have dentures and have teeth fall. I mean, my parents paid a lot of money for these, you know, braces on these teeth back in the day to take good care of these things.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 30:44
When it comes to your business, like, what are the things because I just think discipline is one of these words that it's like, okay, that's nice. Like, I would love to have discipline. But I
Kathi Reuter 30:55
don't feel like you don't have discipline. Yeah, no, well, it's like, it doesn't just come the thing is, if you lack a clear vision for where you're going, then you're not going to have discipline or motivation, or even any kind of inspiration to show up and do the things that you need to do in your business to get there. And so with anything, anything in life, you need to know why you're showing up to do what you're doing. Otherwise, it's going to be so easy to be like, I'm not going to do it today, or I don't need to do that. Who cares. But if you have, like a crystal clear vision, with some clear cut goals, you're going to show up. Yeah, and you're going to do what you need to do to get there. Yeah,
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 31:29
so in the future, right, like there's future Kathy, future Jess, future listener. I, it's so funny. I was doing transform 20 This morning, and which is Oh, my God workout. And I just live for Shanti. Like, if I can get him infused this morning, I'm like, Yes. And he always in all the workouts there is a girl in the background named Jessica. It's just the nature of being a Jessica, there's always one in the rear. But like, you know, he's talking to her. And he's like, Yeah, Jessica, dig deeper, right? And I feel like he's talking to me. And he's like, he's like, if your name is Jessica at home, dig deeper when I'm like, shut up, shut up, right. So I want to like just call it a random name. And maybe it's you, Kelly, that's listening, right? It's gonna be Kelly. But if you have your future self talk, and you are talking to Kelly, listen, I'm gonna get a review from the Kelly of this episode again. So this is the part where we're attaching the action and the discipline, whether it's in your business or in your fitness to like a future vision of yourself like a goal, or we're saying like, okay, in the future, I have this much money or in the future I have, you know, this many people in my program, or this might my product line sells out the first day of the launch, or whatever it is. Right? Those are the future goals. But then what about that identity piece, because there's when I think about my own fitness, things like, right now, I don't currently have a big goal attached to my fitness. I think for a little while it was after I had the baby, it was like, okay, like, just get back into the rhythm of things feel like yourself, again, get to your natural rate. And I'm at those things, and I'm still showing up regularly. But it's not about a goal. It's about an identity piece. So can you.
Kathi Reuter 33:27
Yeah, it's so true. I was it's so funny. I was just talking to my husband about this the other day, we actually talk about this all the time. It's about like, Who do you identify as, right? I don't have a health and fitness goal either right now. But my identity is that I'm someone who cares about my health and fitness and I want to have energy, and I want to feel good. And I want to look good. And I want to be able to pick up my you know, 48 pound four year old, no problem. And so I have an identity. That is I am someone who cares about my health and fitness. And you can do the exact same thing with your business to for example, I don't have any like, I don't have like, like, I'm showing up right now my business because I want my kids to see that. I'm never going to just settle and coast along in life, that if I'm not growing or making an impact in some way, shape, or form, then what the hell am I even doing here? Like, that's how I feel purpose by making an impact. That's why I wanted to create the podcast. So for me, it's more of about I have that identity of I need to make an impact and want to make an impact on other people. And if I'm not, then I feel like what the heck am I even doing?
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 34:37
Am I if I'm not impacted? Am I able? Right? Who am I? Right? Exactly. Yeah, yeah. And I think for those of you that like are in this in between stage where maybe in your business, you have the you have the goals and you have the structure of your business and what you're supposed to do, but you're lacking It consistency. I don't love this word because I just think that people think about it, you know, not in the right way, consistency is something that naturally comes when you a believe you are someone who dot dot dot, right, that's the identity piece, and then also have a goal. And you're and you understand what today has to do with that goal, right? Like in terms of time. But the, the identity piece, it's like, what if you're someone who is like, doesn't you do not believe that you are someone who is good at selling? Or is, you know, like an influencer? But that is an identity that you desire? Like how it can you think about a specific time whether in your fitness or in your business, that you didn't have an identity that you were able to either like flip overnight, or grow into. Let me think about this for a second, he told me that, like, there was a good part of your identity that lent itself to this lifestyle, right? Like you grew up in sports and in competition, which helped you be able to be in the day to day granular stuff. That's why I wanted to have you on the show. And talk about this, because I do think it's controversial, right? I mean, like, how much of it is like a competitive drive with yourself or within your industry, and then how much of it is literally just like, I want to come and evolve as a human being and just like, do a little bit better than I've ever done before.
Kathi Reuter 36:49
Yeah, I mean, I've always been a super competitive person, forever. And always, it's just in my nature, I love to win. I don't like to lose. Saves. And so that's why I can sometimes get so hard on myself, when things don't work out the way that I had planned. I have to just be patient force myself to be patient. But, you know, I am the type of person where I thrive off of people telling me that I can't do something. I know that sounds weird. And a lot of times people when that happens is when they cower down, and they, you know, hunker down onto the table, and they don't want to do anything anymore. And then they lose that belief in themselves. For me, the way that my mind is wired, it is like every time that I hear something negative from someone weather, you know, that's so dumb, why would you do that? Or let's just be grateful for charity, how are you doing this now, or you're never going to be able to do that, like you're a beginner, you're at the beginning again, or you're never going to be able to get back to the shape that you were in when you were 30 Now that you're going to be 42 I literally have this switch in my brain that's like, okay, just keep watching. Gamma. And so, you know, I think that and I think people, it's really important that people know and understand that that is going to happen to you too. And that you are going to be constantly being faced with people saying negative things to you. And you can either choose to ignore it, or you can use it as fuel to prove them wrong. And that can be your source of motivation, but you can never believe it. Yeah, and those are your options like those are your only two options, either ignore it, or use as fuel. And so I think that if you can wrap your brain around that and get out of your own head, you'd be surprised at what you can accomplish.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 38:39
Yeah, I like that. I like that answer. I think when I think of myself and different moments where it always It stings the most when it's someone who, you know, actually does love you. I think like whatever, there's haters out there and you can compartmentalize and separate and be like they don't know me, then it's the people that you feel like do know you and do love you. And then they say something that you're like, oh, like, that's a little bit like you don't believe in me or the unsupportive things and we've all had those moments. And for every business owner, it just is going to continue to happen and continue to happen. And I have the these story that I like to always joke about with my brother, who I'm very close with and who is such a big supporter of me, but when I first was starting with fitness coaching, I had posted a video of me trying to do a pull up and failing, right and being like, I'm going to do it and him being like, is this a satirical account because like, all of a sudden out of nowhere, I was like fitness coaching and I wasn't someone who was like bit growing up, and he's like, Okay, right. And I remember to having this calmness wave over me and just being like you Yeah, it's funny now, it's not gonna be an event. It won't be. Right. And and now it's like, this is what this whole show is about. I think this is a great way for us to end, which is that sincerely future you is about building your future based on nothing but your future. Actually just having a blank canvas and not looking to your past and saying like, what do I think I'm capable of? Or what do I think my strengths are? That would push me into a path? What do I think is possible for me, based on what I've done so far? Or what I've proven, I can achieve up until now just instead, having this blank slate of being like, what do I want? What's out there? What are the identities that I want in my life that I want attached to me that I want people to be saying, behind my back of like, Oh, my God, she's so fit, or like, Oh, my God, she's such a badass CEO. Like, there were moments when the opposite of those things were being said about me. And they're going to be said about all of you guys, too, whether it's fitness or whether it's with your business, but can you first be in that phase where you're like, Okay, nobody can see where I'm going except for me. So it's like, totally make sense, and is not a problem that they don't see. Because they can only see the past, I can only see the future and the past.
Kathi Reuter 41:37
Yep. So it's so true. Be in that
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 41:39
phase, right? Where you're like, you're the only one who can see it, and then maybe just your inner circle can see it. And they're like, whoa, okay, and then, like, the whole world can see it. And it becomes it's so
Kathi Reuter 41:53
good. I know, it's so true. And I think so many times people get tripped up and looking back at their past to determine what they're capable of going forward. And that's not true. The only time you should ever really look back is for the lessons that you've learned along the way. That's it. Otherwise, it's eyes forward. What do I want to happen? Well, how do I want to be remembered? When I look back, I don't want to have any regrets and be like, dammit, I should have done. You know this. But I was too scared because of what I thought this person was going to say it did I go all out and go after what I really wanted. So
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 42:27
what advice do you have for that person who's like, Okay, I got it, I'm gonna sit down, or I already have sat down, and I have a clear vision of what I want. I know, these are some things that I want that I do not have right now. I don't have it, I don't see it in my current reality, I can only see it in my mind. How do I get my brain to believe that I am that person in the future, even if I have zero evidence today that I am her?
Kathi Reuter 43:02
I mean, this sounds a little crazy. But this is honestly what like I do.
Unknown Speaker 43:06
Tell me tell me, I love a crazy tech.
Kathi Reuter 43:10
I mean, it's so lame. But I literally just always walk around in my mind, when I'm thinking about these things I'm going to do and I constantly am just saying to myself, like I can I am I will, I must like over and over and over again. And before I go to bed at night, that's what I'm thinking about, like that vision of what I want of what I want to accomplish what I want the business to look like of what I want my life to look like, it's the last thing that I see when I go to sleep in the morning. And then during the day, I'm constantly just repeating those things like I can, I am I will I must over and over and over again. Because you know the statistic about like how like 85% of your thoughts in your brain around negative and they're on repeat all the time, right? So you have to disrupt that. And you have to be the one to be aware of that and disrupt it. So that way you can constantly be, you know, changing the way that you're thinking. Because until you do that, forget it. It's never going to happen anyways. Right? You know, and so just those little things make such a difference. And even if if somebody has a clear vision, you're already a step ahead of so many other people, because so many people don't even have that. Yeah. And
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 44:10
I just think your your tip is so good because I actually think sometimes it's more important that you have that inner conversation with yourself regularly than that you have the clear vision. Sometimes the vision can be a little blurry and that's okay. But if you just know one thing, and if in the daily, you're just like, Okay, I don't know exactly how I don't know exactly what it looks like. But I do know that I'm someone who is a little bit tougher, or I do know that I'm someone who is more organized or who is more resilient. And that's all I know. And that's all you need to know. That's fine, like the other part will come in to place. Yeah,
Kathi Reuter 44:56
and I feel like sometimes people get intimidated by like the big vision that they have. But you just have to keep reminding yourself that you're going to figure it out. Quitting is not an option. And it's just what's the next best thing that I need to do right now, to move myself closer to that vision. If
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 45:13
you're gonna run a marathon, you're not like, okay, I guess I should start running 26.2 miles. It's like, No, I'm gonna, what do I have to do reverse engineer it right, like, what is a marathoner? Do they create training plans? Okay, let's start there. How many months? Do I need to train for it? Let's sign up. For one. Let's start doing two miles, three miles. And then what are my long runs? When are they going to be what is my skin? Right? It's like, this is the reverse engineering. And if you're just like, oh, a marathon feels very overwhelming. Like, yeah, of course it does. Right now.
Kathi Reuter 45:50
We're having flashbacks from when I did the Boston Marathon. It's like,
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 45:54
yeah, you're like, that was my trip. I did.
Kathi Reuter 45:58
Yes. Check it off the bucket list. Yeah,
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 46:00
girl. I've been at that marathon. Many, many, many times. And my mom's really my mom's ran it nine times.
Kathi Reuter 46:08
Yeah, that is amazing. She is freaking.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 46:12
Before we let you go. I do want to just say you, you almost got me really, like choked up when you just said those like simple four phrases? What is it again as I am?
Kathi Reuter 46:22
I can, I am. I will. I must. Because
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 46:26
my son. And the listeners have heard a little bit about this. But my son is currently going through some training for his brain. And it is rigorous. He's six years old. And we're putting him through some right brain training. So to help support him in his like behavioral stuff that's happening at school. And it is when I tell you, it is so hard, and there's tears almost every day. And I've been MAN Yeah, I'm gonna get choked up. Because I've been saying no, some of these things to him over like, you are, you are tough. You are smart. You can do this. You are brave. You You got this right. I'm a beast, right. And in the beginning, he was irritated by me saying these things, right? Because and you guys might be too you might be listening to this podcast being like, I'm not those things, right? Because like, your brain is telling you that you don't have evidence. And that's what he was doing. And the way that kids respond to these things usually, is the way our primitive brain is responding inside. Even if outwardly, we're saying, Okay, I'll do the things inside. You're like, Yeah, but you can't do it. Right. And so like, I watched him in the beginning feel very irritated by me telling him that he could do it when he was really really struggling. And then he continued to do it. And you know, you feel like, I don't know, are they listening to anything that I'm parenting? What's happening here like that? It is just going in one ear out the other. And then out of nowhere the other night? I think it was like the night before Halloween because we had like set a lot of rules like okay, well, this can happen if and this can happen if he was like, I can do it. I'm gonna get four Smiley's tomorrow. I am brave. I am smart. I can do this. I'm in he just started spitting out all of these rations. And he got four Smiley's on high Halloween, right, like a day that's typically unstructured and that he's never really thrived in. There's candy. There's all the things. And he was like something clicked. It was like a little bit of brainwashing. And it's so yeah, if in the very beginning, when you're brainwashing yourself, your brains like, Okay, I don't know if this is working. Just like Let it not work until it does. Exactly.
Kathi Reuter 48:57
You have to keep doing it. It's going to feel uncomfortable at the beginning. Yeah, you know, your brain, your brain doesn't want you to change at all. It will do whatever it can in its power to keep you right where you are, even if you're miserable. Yes. And
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 49:11
so, right. Like what you're saying is, you just have to keep not just doing the things but like telling yourself the things because that's what we're saying over and over again on this. This episode is like, the theme is that you can do all of the things and put one foot in front of the other. But if you're saying that it's not going to mean anything, or it's not who you are, yeah, eventually, you know, that's going to be the result.
Kathi Reuter 49:40
Regardless, it's so true. I know because it's your thoughts, your thoughts and beliefs that actually create that result in your life and not your actions. Amen.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 49:48
Friends, I know we wish I could just give you the script of exactly how to sell and then you'd sell everyone know you have to believe that you your product. Your offer is as worthy as valuable is an undercharge for what you're selling it for, and you have to believe that your clients want, you have to believe all of those things. Otherwise, whatever you say to them will fall flat. Yeah,
Kathi Reuter 50:12
yeah. 100% Yeah, so good. I know. Well,
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 50:16
I know where I'm really curious to see, I haven't seen a lot of controversial things lately. But I'm really curious to see if people do have differing opinions on this, like, please share with us, I think that I just, I cannot see a downside to being invested in a fitness journey. Like, I can't see a downside to it. But people get very, very triggered by this of like, oh, like, That's not necessary. Don't push that on me, etc. And I'm like, No, it's
Kathi Reuter 50:50
necessary, especially for your mental health. It's like free therapy. How could you? I mean, if you're, if your mindset and is negative, and you don't feel good, are you doing any kind of motion or movement in the day, because it does help. I'm not saying it's like the cure for everything. But it makes a huge difference. It's like start
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 51:11
there with the free stuff before we do all the things that are like paid. And then of course on top of it, then you can look into you know, right balancing your brain therapies, experts, all of those things, but like the first and most important therapies are the ones that you're doing internally in your brain and with your body. So to get to that base, that's why I do it every day. Yeah, right. So we don't go crazy. So I don't lose my mind. Lighten and Legally Blonde where she's like, I'm She exercises and exercises creates endorphins and happy people don't just tell their husbands. I'm like, you're welcome to my blur, because I've had two of them. And it's like, you're welcome to both of you that I've worked out always so to
Kathi Reuter 51:57
keep keep it exactly the way otherwise you'd be six feet on Yeah, no.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 52:04
But anyway, we I really do believe that this conversation needed to be had because I can I am I will I must I mess it up. What is it? Yeah, no, you did you did it. Right. And I am I will, I must. I'm gonna pass that along to my son. And I hope that you guys take these words. And even if all you took away from this was a little bit of simple brainwashing for yourself, while you're in the thick of it while you're in the tough stuff. Is there anything else you want to leave our audience with? Let them know you're a podcaster tell tell us about your where they can listen to you as well. You
Kathi Reuter 52:43
can listen to me on all platforms do life big as the podcast. And if you need some help with you know, reprogramming the way that you think I have created a completely free guide. You can check it out at Kathy reuter.com/think This not that. And it's just a simple list of 19 of the most common negative limiting beliefs that we think and what to replace them with, with a more empowering belief and start there and you change your beliefs. And that's how you change your life.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 53:08
I love it. Well, thank you so much. I mean, it's been so fun watching you succeed in the fitness world and in the business world, and just kind of like go through from beginner to expert. I, I admire you and thank you for keeping it real here. You guys always Yeah, yeah. We're talking about like Kitt. Killing her husband's keeping them alive.
Kathi Reuter 53:34
We're gonna be like, who was this girl that you have in your episode?
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 53:37
Oh, man. Good times. All right, Kathy, thank you so much for coming on the show. Ah, what a treat having Cathy on the show. To me. I am so inspired by someone who is a mom of three living where she wants to live in Florida. She was an elementary school teacher turned a multi six figure online entrepreneur. She's fair, she is fun. She is just kind of willing to collect all those failures to do life big, which is ironically the name of her show. If you want to connect with Kathy, make sure to do that, you know where you can find all that info in the show notes. But really, I want you to take one nugget of what we're talking about on the show, even if you're not an athlete, even if you don't resonate with that. I mean to me, I've always had the identity of the artist and the creative in my family while the rest of my family was an athlete. But I did see the mindset piece that they all had about setting goals about getting after about putting in the reps. And that is something that is worth all of us taking a look at how can we incorporate those mindset skills into our day? Take those little mantras that Kathy was giving us and Sam to yourself in the mirror. Are you guys I will loves loves loves this conversation. I hope you loved it too. If you did, please let us know. Tag us in this episode over on Instagram. Let us know that you're listening that you loved it, what you took away from it. And of course, if you really really are feeling this show, the best way that you can show me the love and show us the love is to leave a review, preferably five stars, but I'm all for honesty. Let me know what you're thinking. All right, you guys have a beautiful week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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